Fading Into Christmas


A little over a year ago my father died. ┬áIt was hard to lose him. He was my hero, the funniest man I’ve ever met, the kindest, most patient, honest, and all around most admirable man I have ever known. He lived 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8. However, as hard as it was to lose him, it was expected. My dad was very ill with a blood disease that caused him to have to have blood transfusions every week. He was also almost 90 years old, and his body was very tired from the two year battle he fought with the disease he had. When he went home to be with God, my heart was broken but I knew he was at peace and I had no doubt as to where he was.

In January of this year my beautiful niece was killed in a horrible car accident. She had just turned 25 in December. She was full of life, kind, silly, honest and beautiful. She was also the only daughter of my sister. When my niece died, I’m not going to lie, it was hard to take. For a time I questioned everything, including God. But…God is awesome, and although I never received an answer as to why this happened, I received His reassurance that my beautiful niece was now with Him in heaven.

All this to say, this Christmas doesn’t much feel like a holiday of joy to me this year. It feels a bit hollow, and try as I may, I can’t seem to get into the “spirit” of the season. So this year, I will only aim for peace and find happiness in old photos and memories of my wonderful father and beautiful niece who are together now. The image above is what came out when I was trying to create a Christmas image for Christmas cards I’d like to send this year. It seems a bit sad, so I think this year I’ll send store bought cards and keep this as a memory as to how I’m feeling inside.